


i don't mind a short forever

by skippingsouls (purplejams)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25842148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplejams/pseuds/skippingsouls
Summary: akaashi tries to cope with two things; one, bokuto is gone, and two, he could never hold him again.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 9
Kudos: 130





	i don't mind a short forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleLuxray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxray/gifts).
  * Inspired by [In Another Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5096105) by [LittleLuxray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxray/pseuds/LittleLuxray). 



> a short drabble that popped into my head while thinking about bokuaka and listening to The Night We Met by Lord Huron. this made me sad ngl so uhm yea,,, 
> 
> this is also coincidentally my first fic here in ao3 so,,, yey for me :DD
> 
> to whoever reads this, i hope you like it :>

**_—“I had all and then most of you; some and now none of you.”_ **

Moonlight sneaks pass through the curtains, painting the room a shade of dark blue. The window left ajar lets the cold breeze in, engulfing Akaashi, lulling him into a somber state. He stares at the entirety of his room, how it feels empty and cold.

How he feels lonely.

He eyes the navy blue blanket folded neatly on the edge of the bed, a burgundy scarf on top of it. And as if it's also looking back at Akaashi, making him recall the memories of a boy in a hospital bed, cold as ice, yet brought him the warmth of a home.

Truth is, Akaashi doesn't even have to recall.

Because he remembers everything.

All of it.

And everything _hurts_.

The dull ache in his chest, the sore feeling around his eyes from countless nights filled with sobs and silent screams, they linger in his body for so long they started to feel familiar. Akaashi can't seem to find the need to stand, to fix himself up and move on forward because the pain, albeit exhausting and sometimes even _excruciating,_ reminds him of silver hair and golden eyes. Of pale skin and slim fingers, of hollow cheeks and sweet smiles.

_Oh god._

That was the sweetest smile.

The pain he was left with was dreading, but it was the pain Akaashi would live with.

Because it was _him._

The smile he dear so close to his heart, etched into his brain like it has its own map. That one memory he would cherish until the day he leaves this plane. This pain he feels is a reminder that Bokuto Koutarou existed in his life.

Akaashi stands, grabbing the navy blue blanket he's been staring at. It feels soft underneath his fingertips, it was almost comforting. He puts it under his nose. He breathes.

_It smells just like him._

He doesn't mind the tears already flowing down his cheeks, wetting the collar of his shirt. He doesn't mind the fact that it's almost midnight, and yet he never bothered to turn on a lamp, Akaashi doesn't think everything else matters when the core reason of his existence is nowhere to be seen.

Not by his side.

Not on his bed.

Not in the hospital room he visits.

Not here, _with him_.

Except he's wrong.

Because Bokuto may have left physically, but Akaashi knows, deep down, his own soul mingled with that of his lover. The boy who called him beautiful.

Bokuto is here. The remnants of his life are existing with Akaashi. Because they found each other, and that was more than enough.

Slowly, Akaashi walks to the middle of his room, the blanket around his shoulders. He takes a deep breath.

_I am home._

Akaashi closes his eyes.

Then he sways.

_He had always wanted to dance with Bokuto._

His chest aches once more, his throat caught up, and he sobs right then and there. In the middle of a cold room, with a navy blue blanket thrown around his shoulders. Akaashi twirls, feeling the phantom warmth of Bokuto's embrace.

He clutches at the blanket tighter.

"Koutarou," he mumbled.

"I miss you."

Nobody knows the feeling of Akaashi when he woke up beside the cold body of what he claims his home. Nobody knows the feeling of being haunted by the memories of someone you met one random day and unknowingly flipped your life, giving you the best, and leaving you the worst.

But Akaashi doesn't regret meeting Bokuto.

Not now.

_Not ever._

But he hopes for a little more time. Then maybe he wouldn’t dance with a ghost in his memories.

Maybe it would be Bokuto dancing with him, and maybe Akaashi would’ve given his all.

The time they were given was too short, and it left him bittersweet.

He remembers the time Bokuto cried while having his arm out of a window, feeling the snow one _last_ time. He remembers Bokuto asking why it had to be him.

Akaashi remembers his answer.

_Life is unfair._

He weeps.

**_“Take me back to the night we met.”_ **

**_fin._ **

**Author's Note:**

> a huge thanks to my friend, dana for helping me :) if you're reading this i thank you vv much with my whole heart <3


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